Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
More than a dozen years ago, when I was in college in Denton, Texas, I got invited to the dank, smelly little music club right off campus. My roommate's friend Laura had been raving about this singer from Austin named Patrice Pike, who was in town with her band, Little Sister. I desperately wanted Laura to think I was cool, so I was more than happy to go along (I had a little crush on her, although I still didn't really know it at that point — I was pretty dense). I didn't really know much about the band, other than Laura loved them and the dean of the journalism school was a big fan. I'll never forget Dr. Wells telling me, "You've got to go see that chick in Little Sister. She's like fuckin' Janis Joplin, man." Yeah, our j-school was a little different.
I confess that I don't recall many details about the show. I remember that I loved the music. I remember that I had a great time. I remember Laura whispering in my ear, "Isn't she so sexy?" But even though a fair amount of it is fuzzy, that night started something. Since then, Patrice and her music have been constant threads running through my entire adult life, in ways I never would have expected. Corny, sure. But true. So while I stood on the dock last Friday night at Clinton Lake in Lawrence, Kansas, watching Patrice charm and enchant a crowd of my friends (and a few strangers), I thought for a moment about my 20-year-old self. If someone had told me that over the next decade, I would see Patrice in dozens of shows — including one in my own driveway — would I have rolled my eyes? If somone had said that this amazing singer, sweating and writhing on the stage in front of me, would one day consider me a friend, would I have believed it?
If the name Patrice Pike sounds even remotely familiar to any of you (well, any of you who don't know me), it could be a few things. Two summers ago, she was on "Rock Star: Supernova," that reality show where Tommy Lee was looking for a lead singer. Patrice did well; she was the third-to-last female to be eliminated. I wanted her to last longer, but truth be told, I didn't really want her to win. That band of Tommy Lee's hasn't done jack squat. I just wanted her to pick up some more fans. That's happened, although not to the degree I would have hoped. If she had been able to play this song, "Kiss Me Baby," on national TV, I'm guessing she would have picked up a few more. Not exactly a Tommy Lee kind of song. I wish there was full video, but you'll get the point. Panty-dropper.
But if you didn't catch her "Rock Star," Patrice has also been on the Lilith Fair, she's played at the Michigan Womyn's Festival and countless other similar chick shindigs (this is a neat moment from one of those), her band Sister 7 (Little Sister had to change its name) had some radio and VH1 play with a song called "Know What You Mean." In Austin, she's beloved; she's in the Texas Music Hall of Fame. But if you haven't heard of her, that's okay too. It's the whole reason I'm writing this. If it makes even one person check out her music for the first time, then I'm happy. It's not just that I think her music is worth sharing with anyone and everyone (although it is), it's also because outside of Texas, I'm not sure how well-known she is in the lesbian/bi community, despite being an out-and-proud bisexual who actively supports and promotes gay causes. I consider the song in the snippet below (it's not the full song) a great "fuck you, I'm queer" song.
I got to know Patrice, oddly enough, when I moved away from Texas. Down there, at a Sister 7 show the club would be packed wall-to-wall. In Kansas City, it was a little different. Good crowds, but nothing like that. So it's hard to miss when the same people are coming to the shows over and over again (sometimes on consecutive nights in different towns). My friends and I became faces that she was used to seeing when she came to town, and she would always make a point to say hello to us. But I didn't really get to know her until one weekend nearly seven years ago, when Patrice and her band at the time got booted out of a Sunday-night gig in Lawrence at the very last minute. (The owner of the club and its manager had unknowingly each booked a band for that night; Patrice's band lost out.) My roommate Sarah and I were commiserating with Patrice after the Kansas City show that Friday, and being a bit drunk and mouthy, we were like, "Fuck it, just play the show at our house." Patrice didn't miss a beat. "How many people do you think you could get?" Sarah and me: "Uhhhhhhhhhhh ... what? Seriously?"
So, 48 hours later, Patrice Pike and the Black Box Rebellion were playing a fully plugged in, all-out, two-hour show in our driveway for a few dozen of our closest friends. It was one of the most fun experiences of my life, something I'll never forget. And I know Patrice won't either. She's said several times that the experience meant a lot to her, and knowing that means a great deal to me. I generally try not to get too personal in this blog, mostly because I think it's kind of boring. I tried several times to write about Patrice without getting personal, but it just didn't work. And I don't want to give the impression that we are close friends; that's not the case. Because I've been listening to her music for so long — and because it was such a huge part of my life when I was figuring out my sexuality, moving to a new town and making new friends — it would be intensely personal to me whether I knew her or not. But because I do know that she is every bit as kind-hearted and genuine as she is talented, it makes me want to share her music with others all the more.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading about her, and I hope you check her out: www.myspace.com/patricepike and www.patricepike.com. OK, enough shameless promotion. I'll leave you with a photo from the Driveway Show, plus a snippet of one of my favorite Patrice songs ever.
I panic for a brief moment, then I remember the little hide-a-key turtle I keep on the deck in the backyard. No problem, right? So I go back around to the deck, and I'm looking and looking, and guess what? No turtle. How is this possible? I'm thinking. Where the hell does an inanimate hide-a-key turtle go? I think that it must be there, I just can't see it because I'm so blind. So I crawl around on the deck for a while, looking everywhere. Still no turtle. Then I come up with the brilliant idea of kicking in one of my basement windows. They're shutter-style, and the locks are weak. So I give the window a few good kicks before deciding I would rather not risk having a huge shard of glass lodge in my bare foot. On to another idea. My dining room window looks like it's unlocked, so I pry off the screen. Of course, it's locked, and I'm an idiot.
I walk around the front yard for a little while, cursing and generally looking like a crazy person. Have I mentioned that I have no clue what time it is? It's about sunrise, but because I never get up early I have no idea when that is. So I knock quietly on a neighbor's door for help, but I bail because I'm paranoid that it's insanely early. (Turns out it was 6:30ish, so, good call.) I decide to assess the situation with the basement door. While I'm under the deck checking that out, I see something. The turtle! Apparently it fell off the deck. It broke apart in the fall, so of course, no key. I drop to my hands and knees and blindly paw around for a while, digging for it among the dirt and rocks and groundcover plants. That goes about as well as you might expect.
I give up. You win, forces of the universe. I happen to see a gardening tool I had left out the night before. One swift swing and one broken door pane later, I'm back in the house, filthy and with a squinty headache. Moral of the story: Don't keep important stuff in a plastic turtle.
Friday, August 15, 2008
But for once, I'm not just all about the hot women. (Though many, many of them are hot. I've seen hot Ukrainian fencers, Aussie swimmers, Kiwi soccer players, Spanish basketball players, Dutch field hockey players, you name it. Need more examples? The incomparable Dorothy Snarker provides a few.)
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
So, Imagine Me & You was on Logo the other night, and even though I had a thousand other things to do and had already seen it a thousand times, I watched it anyway. Why? Because I am physically unable to resist this film. If I don't watch it at least once every six weeks or so, I start to feel weird and unsettled. Food doesn't taste as good; my fabric softener seems to lose its effectiveness, that sort of thing. Exaggerations aside, the movie just makes me smile. Yes, it is an utterly predictable bit of trifle with an ending so corny it tests one's gag reflexes to the limit. But darn it all, it's a cute, fun, funny and well-acted bit of trifle, and the romantic leads are gorgeous and have fabulous chemistry. Plus, there's something to be said for high production values (something sadly lacking in many lesbian films, due to their indie nature). So I make no apologies for loving this movie. None!
I'll spare you the rundown of the movie and get straight to the appreciation of Rachel (Piper Perabo) and Luce (Lena Headey). From the instant they meet, they can't seem to stop flirting with each other, and it is very cute. As I said before, their chemistry was really solid. Oh, and there is a decent amount of kissing, which is pretty awesome. I don't know how others felt about this, but the fact that there was no sex scene didn't bother me a bit. I thought it was quite nice that they fell for each other without that.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A while back, I went with a friend to see The Happening. (Which sucked with mighty Hoover power, but that's another story.) We're watching the previews, and there's a trailer that looks pretty interesting. Dark and creepy, mysterious Scottish guy, Leoben from Battlestar, Amanda Peet as an FBI agent (hot!). Then, it happens. The screen goes black, and we hear: "Scully?" "Mulder." At which time I pitch a bona fide fangirl freakout, right there in the theater. I knew the movie was coming up soon, but I hadn't seen the trailer. My friend is still speaking to me, but I wouldn't blame her at all if she wasn't.
The X Files: I Want to Believe could be terrible. The first movie was certainly a letdown. But this time, I don't really care. Why? Because SCULLY IS BACK, BITCHES! It's been far, far too long. So even if the movie is a steaming pile of crap, I feel pretty confident that I'll enjoy it. After all, what lesbian worth her salt didn't have a crush on Scully? She's brilliant, pragmatic yet deeply emotional, the skeptical scientist who sees and experiences pheomena she never thought possible. And yes, she's ridiculously, unbelievably hot. Over nine seasons, Gillian Anderson brought a lot to the Scully role, and lesbian nation thanks her for it. (She knows we love her, and she loves us back, god bless her.) I'm not sure I'm completely feeling the long hair. She's beautiful, don't get me wrong; it just seems weird and un-Scully-like. But whatever, people change. Dana Scully can grow out her hair if she damn well pleases.
I've been going through old shows, trying to get caught up. There are a lot of episodes and plot points I had forgotten about entirely (some with good reason). I'm counting on the movie to bring me up to speed, because I'm still a little unclear about how the series left it, with regard to the shape-shifters, the super soldiers, the black oil, the evil alien overlords and whatnot. I need X Files Cliff Notes. Part of that is because I had kind of checked out of the show the last couple of seasons, the Mulder-less seasons. I just couldn't get on board with it. Of course, I still watched, but not with the same kind of interest. At that point, it was basically a drinking game. You know, "When Scully and Agent Reyes throw each other an intense look, drink!" We owe Gillian and Annabeth Gish a debt of gratitude for keeping things interesting with the smoldering gazes. Even though, as a wishful thinking lesbian viewer, you know they're not going to drop everything and make out, they did their best to make it look like they might. Also, Scully was at her hottest in the later seasons, so that was nice. I mean, right?
Anyway, going back through those episodes, I'm finding that my favorite Scully moments are the humorous ones. Like the episode where the Lone Gunmen trick her into going to Las Vegas, and she gets roofied and spends half the episode giggling, lolling around and calling Langly "cutie." Or "Bad Blood," which involves Texas vampire shenanigans, or the one that's shot like an episode of COPS. She and David Duchovny always played off each other very well, but that really came through in the funny moments. At the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I also have to point out that Scully is never more beautiful than when she cries. And homegirl went through some shit, so she cries a lot. If I can find a good screencap, I'll post one later. But in the meantime, here's another old-school shot for good measure.
UPDATE: The movie sucked. It was a thrill to see the Mulder and Scully again and I'm really glad I saw it, but it was not a good movie. Well, it was for a while, then it devolved into some gay Frankenstein bullshit that I'm not even going to get into. Sigh.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Some friends and I were talking last night about the pros and cons of having so few moments of lesbo happiness on TV. I know what you're thinking – pros? There are pros? Well, sort of. If I could turn on the TV at any given time, any given day, and find two women making out ... OK, that would kick ass. For a little while, I would never leave the house. But at some point, it would become commonplace. We should be so lucky, I know. But that would mean that when Dr. Callie Torres kissed Dr. Erica Hahn last Thursday on Grey's Anatomy, I probably wouldn't have raised my arms and shouted, "Yes! Awesome!" at my TV. And then I wouldn't have immediately downloaded it, just so I could screencap it. Well, I might have anyway, because these two are burning up my screen.
I'm fired up because I called this one. Well, sort of. It seemed far too much to hope for, back when Dr. Mark Sloane was chasing after Hahn. She rebuffed him, but grudgingly, and the show was sort of sucking in general, so I let my lesbian storyline dreams die. I should have known better. Suddenly the writers' strike ended, and Hahn and Callie became BFFs who were into each other just enough to raise some eyebrows. At first, I figured the actors might just be having a bit of fun and adding something extra to the roles. Then glorious, glorious Addison Montgomery showed up and rocked Callie's world by assuming Callie and Erica were a couple. At that point, it became clear that the show was totally going to go there. Whee! I don't even mind the fact that it took a bunch of sex and dirty talk with man-whore Mark for Callie to figure it out. It doesn't seem like this character development is being played for exploitive, male titillation purposes. Even though I haven't personally experienced this, I do believe that for many people, sexuality is fluid. The way I look at it, I don't care what it took for Callie to figure out that she had real, honest-to-god romantic feelings for Erica. I'm just glad she figured it out. I can't wait to see what's in store for them next season. I don't expect them to ride off into the sunset – it seems impossible for anyone to have a healthy, stable relationship at Seattle Grace – I just hope that the storyline stays smart and interesting.
In other liplock news, I saw something a couple of weeks ago that may have even trumped Callie-Hahn in terms of sheer, breathtaking awesomeness. On Battlestar Galactica, the astoundingly beautiful Tricia Helfer kissed herself. Yep, you read that right. See, on Battlestar, some of the actors who play Cylons have to play multiple versions of the same Cylon model. The actor who has had to carry the toughest load, by far, is Helfer, who plays myriad roles as the Number Six model.
All of the Sixes she's played are different, but they share a few traits. They all want desperately to love and be loved in return; they want their lives to have meaning, purpose; they're a bit wacko religious (but in a "God is love" way); and to borrow a phrase from Willow, they're kinda gay. Some of the more significant Sixes: Caprica Six (seductress, had a polyamorous relationship with Dr. Gaius Baltar and the Number Three model D'Anna); imaginary Six (who exists in Baltar's head and may or may not be an angel); Gina (who was in love with Admiral Helena Cain, then was brutally abused after her Cylon identity was discovered); and Natalie (above), the newest Six to the party and the leader of a band of rebel Cylons. I don't want to get into too many details that led to the kiss, because it takes too much Battlestar geek-speak to explain, and I've done enough of that already. But suffice it to say, it was a gut-wrenching set of events that led Natalie to kiss another Six, tenderly, before shooting her in the head. And even in the heartbreaking moment, I will admit that I paused my DVR, because holy shit, Tricia Helfer just kissed herself. So if I ever wondered exactly how shallow I am, now I know.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I'm still not too crazy about the grody, almost-spreadeagle photos she did for FHM, but whatever. Danica Patrick is hot and a hell of a race-car driver, and this is her day. Congrats, Danica.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The other exciting TV development this week is that BBC America will start airing season five of Wire in the Blood on Sunday. Oddly, they're starting with an episode titled "Prayer of the Bone," which actually aired in the UK after season five, as a precursor to season six. But since it's a one-off episode, I guess it's no big deal. Unfortunately, "Prayer of the Bone" is built solely around Robson Green (who plays Dr. Tony Hill, the brilliant but odd psychologist), so it is sadly devoid of Simone Lahbib, the show's co-star and this blog's patron saint. Lahbib plays Detective Inspector Alex Fielding, an intense, skeptical sort. She's kind of a Scottish Scully to Hill's occasional wackadoo Mulder-ness. The show is not an X-Files ripoff, but their dynamic is kind of similar. I don't know much about the structure of UK police departments, but it seems to me that Alex is the head of an SVU-type investigative unit. If you haven't seen the show, it can be quite good at times. There are only four or five episodes a season, but each one is about an hour and 20 minutes long, so you get pretty invested in the story. Lahbib's character is kind of frowny and stressed out, but you better believe she still looks good.
One more thing: Although there's no LaBabe in "Prayer of the Bone," and it's not a terribly great episode, it's still worth watching because it's set in Texas, and it's so cute to hear some of the "Texan" characters recite dialogue written by Brits.
And, OK, let's be honest — women's hoops is total lesbo eye candy. Young, fit, sweaty women running and pushing each other around? Good stuff. I'm not going to get specific and talk about individual players, because it was all well and good to have college hoops crushes when I was 25, but now it seems kind of gross. I mean, I'm not old, but I'm old enough that I shouldn't be crushing on 20-year-olds. Coaches, however, are fair game. This weekend was weird, because Gail Goestenkors' team was not in the Sweet 16. Goestenkors took Duke to the Sweet 16 the last 10 seasons. Now she's at Texas, where she has some rebuilding to do. They made the tournament, which looked iffy for quite some time, but got mauled by UConn in the second round. I don't have very many coach crushes (head coaches, anyway), but Coach G is always welcome on my TV. In the last couple of years she's been looking a bit, shall I say, pinched. But she's still a total cutie.
Anyway, the women's Final Four gets set tonight; LSU and Stanford are already in. Stanford's back in the Final Four for the first time since 1997, a year that lives in infamy for Stanford fans. The Cardinal lost a heartbreaker to Old Dominion in the semifinals, 83-82 in overtime. My first major hoops crush, Kate Starbird, had 21 points in the first half, then disappeared in the second half. I was a huge Stanford fan back then, and that game was one of the biggest sports letdowns of my life. I have it on tape, and I've never watched it. Kristin Folkl fouls out on a totally bogus call, Vanessa Nygaard misses a chippie that would have won it, Jamila Wideman (my second major basketball crush) misses a contested three at the buzzer ... It just suuuuuuucked. (Saddest post-game photo ever: Jamila and her mom. All these years later, I still want to give her a hug.) Of course, Old Dominion then laid an egg against Tennessee in the championship game. Not that I'm still bitter or anything. The last 10 years, I've been a fan, but each year it seems I've been less and less invested. Last year, when the Cardinal, as a No. 2 seed, got bounced out of the second round on their own home court, I decided I'd had enough. So when Monday night came around, I wasn't stressed out. If they lost, no big deal. Naturally, they pulled out a completely awesome win over Maryland. Just when I thought I was out ... they pull me back in! Damn. I'm actually going to the Final Four in Tampa, so it looks like I need to dig my Stanford gear out of the closet. Fair-weather fan? Guilty.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
I'm not really a fan of T-shirt Hell, which is where I found this. Their stuff has a decidedly lowest-common-denominator bent to it. I'm all for laughing at ourselves, but a few of their shirts really cross the line, in my mind. But Tits and Ass '08? That is hilarious. Count me in as a proud lover of T&A.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The screencap is a bit dark, but you get the point. A pair of knockouts, these two. You have to love a mother and daughter who, while playing mother-daughter characters, will do sex scenes on a lesbian TV show. Including one scene in which mom walks in on her little girl getting busy with another woman. I mean, God bless America. Ford plays a straight girl named Molly who is taken in by Shane's charm and goes "advanced placement gay" for her. Molly is smart, sarcastic and has that killer smirky smile thing going on, which is right in my wheelhouse. Shane appears to be simliarly smitten. She doesn't just want to sleep with Molly, she wants to be around her, talk to her, get to know her. I approve, Shane. You screwed up big-time by dumping Carmen (I will never get over it, ever, I swear). Don't let it happen again. I don't think I can handle losing another TV girlfriend because you have commitment issues.
Monday, February 25, 2008
So you'll forgive me for getting goosebumps all over again when, after getting cut off prematurely, Marketa Irglova was brought back out to accept her award. Her speech, about art and hope and perseverance, was heartfelt and moving -- just like the film.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
That loud sucking sound coming from our televisions? It's going to stop soon. The Writers Guild of America voted tonight to end its three-month strike. I could go on and on about how the strike was necessary and important, but much better writers are doing that all over the Internet right now. So I'll stick to celebrating what it means to me — good TV is coming back, and bringing all my favorite hot chicks with it. It won't return overnight, but it's thrilling to know it's on the way.
As for the pin, our editor loved the slogan on it so much, he gave one to everyone in the newsroom a few years ago. I keep mine at my desk, where I can see it every day. I know it's only TV, but it's about more than that. Write hard, die free.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I love them when they're fighting.
I love them when they're drinking.
I love them when they're poorly impersonating chickens.
I love them, I love them, I love them. I wasn't ready when the show got canceled. Really, until 30 Rock came along, I wasn't sure I would ever fall head over heels for a TV comedy again like I did with Arrested. I realize this is in the embryonic stage of filmmaking, but I can't help getting wildly excited. Long live the Bluths!
P.S. Am I a total loser for trolling YouTube at 2 a.m. just because I wanted to hear Strahovski's Australian accent? Yes? OK, just checking.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
"Four-thousand-dollar ham napkin." If you're a 30 Rock-aholic like me, you know what I'm talking about. Just one of the countless funny moments in your typical episode. I can't bear the thought of going months before seeing a new episode. Sigh.
2. Sarah Shahi
Thanks to Life, Sarah Shahi is cementing herself as my No. 2 all-time TV girlfriend (behind, of course, the patron saint of this blog -- Simone Lahbib). Life isn't TV cop show brilliance on the level of The Wire, but it's pretty damn good. It's captured my interest enough that I'd really like to see how this season plays out. Plus, Sarah Shahi is hotter than words. She's doing a nice job with her character. If Life doesn't last, I hope Shahi can parlay it into other interesting roles.
3. Yvonne Strahovski
OK, I am a Chuck fangirl. I love that goofy little show so much. It defies logic. Yvonne Strahovski is a total babe, her CIA cover is a crappy job at a place called Wienerlicious — what's not to love? Apparently there are several Chuck episodes still in the can, so I don't have to mourn its absence just yet. Yay!
4. Jenna Fischer
Ah, Pam. If Pam Beesly worked in my office, I'd be as love-struck as Jim. I love a funny girl. Pam is not nearly as bleak these days as she is in the above photo, since she and Jim finally got together. But that picture seemed appropriate, since the last time we saw a new episode of The Office was NOVEMBER 15TH. For heaven's sake, stop the madness. Pay the writers.
5. Sara Ramirez
I'm not all that into Grey's Anatomy this season (the writing has been seriously pissing me off), but Sara Ramirez is positively delicious. Thank goodness her character, Dr. Callie Torres, has become kick-ass again. For a while she was kind of a pathetic sad sack, which was no fun to watch at all. Although it's clear to me the show is not going to go this direction, in my mind, Dr. Torres and Dr. Hahn are having a secret, hot affair. What? Everyone else in that hospital sleeps together. Why not those two?