Cure for blog doldrums: Hot chicks locking lips

Some friends and I were talking last night about the pros and cons of having so few moments of lesbo happiness on TV. I know what you're thinking – pros? There are pros? Well, sort of. If I could turn on the TV at any given time, any given day, and find two women making out ... OK, that would kick ass. For a little while, I would never leave the house. But at some point, it would become commonplace. We should be so lucky, I know. But that would mean that when Dr. Callie Torres kissed Dr. Erica Hahn last Thursday on Grey's Anatomy, I probably wouldn't have raised my arms and shouted, "Yes! Awesome!" at my TV. And then I wouldn't have immediately downloaded it, just so I could screencap it. Well, I might have anyway, because these two are burning up my screen.

I'm fired up because I called this one. Well, sort of. It seemed far too much to hope for, back when Dr. Mark Sloane was chasing after Hahn. She rebuffed him, but grudgingly, and the show was sort of sucking in general, so I let my lesbian storyline dreams die. I should have known better. Suddenly the writers' strike ended, and Hahn and Callie became BFFs who were into each other just enough to raise some eyebrows. At first, I figured the actors might just be having a bit of fun and adding something extra to the roles. Then glorious, glorious Addison Montgomery showed up and rocked Callie's world by assuming Callie and Erica were a couple. At that point, it became clear that the show was totally going to go there. Whee! I don't even mind the fact that it took a bunch of sex and dirty talk with man-whore Mark for Callie to figure it out. It doesn't seem like this character development is being played for exploitive, male titillation purposes. Even though I haven't personally experienced this, I do believe that for many people, sexuality is fluid. The way I look at it, I don't care what it took for Callie to figure out that she had real, honest-to-god romantic feelings for Erica. I'm just glad she figured it out. I can't wait to see what's in store for them next season. I don't expect them to ride off into the sunset – it seems impossible for anyone to have a healthy, stable relationship at Seattle Grace – I just hope that the storyline stays smart and interesting.

In other liplock news, I saw something a couple of weeks ago that may have even trumped Callie-Hahn in terms of sheer, breathtaking awesomeness. On Battlestar Galactica, the astoundingly beautiful Tricia Helfer kissed herself. Yep, you read that right. See, on Battlestar, some of the actors who play Cylons have to play multiple versions of the same Cylon model. The actor who has had to carry the toughest load, by far, is Helfer, who plays myriad roles as the Number Six model.
All of the Sixes she's played are different, but they share a few traits. They all want desperately to love and be loved in return; they want their lives to have meaning, purpose; they're a bit wacko religious (but in a "God is love" way); and to borrow a phrase from Willow, they're kinda gay. Some of the more significant Sixes: Caprica Six (seductress, had a polyamorous relationship with Dr. Gaius Baltar and the Number Three model D'Anna); imaginary Six (who exists in Baltar's head and may or may not be an angel); Gina (who was in love with Admiral Helena Cain, then was brutally abused after her Cylon identity was discovered); and Natalie (above), the newest Six to the party and the leader of a band of rebel Cylons. I don't want to get into too many details that led to the kiss, because it takes too much Battlestar geek-speak to explain, and I've done enough of that already. But suffice it to say, it was a gut-wrenching set of events that led Natalie to kiss another Six, tenderly, before shooting her in the head. And even in the heartbreaking moment, I will admit that I paused my DVR, because holy shit, Tricia Helfer just kissed herself. So if I ever wondered exactly how shallow I am, now I know.

"Finally!"

That was Danica Patrick's relieved and jubilant exclamation about an hour ago, after she became the first woman to win an IndyCar race. Finally, indeed. I'm not an auto racing fan, but I am a big sports fan. As such, I like to watch all the biggest events, even if it's a sport I'm not really that into or don't know that much about. So although I don't really follow IndyCar racing, I do watch the Indy 500 almost every year. I watched every minute of it in 2005, when Patrick, then a rookie, started on the first row and damn near won the whole thing. It was absolutely thrilling. Since then, I've made it a point to check in on races every now and again, because I knew she would win one at some point, and then many more. The rest of the season passed, then the next, and the next ... and nothing. I got apathetic, I admit it. So when I got home from work tonight, knowing full well the race was going on in Japan and I could watch it if I wanted to, I read a book instead. A couple hours later, I thought, "Oh, I wonder if it's over?" So I flipped on SportsCenter to see Patrick and her family celebrating in pit road. Damnation! I missed out on history to take a bath and read a book. Ninety-nine percent of the time, that's an evening well-spent. Tonight, it turned out to be a stupid move. But I'm still thrilled, even though I didn't get to see the victory as it happened. No matter how one feels about auto racing in general, this is a tremendous milestone for women in sports.

I'm still not too crazy about the grody, almost-spreadeagle photos she did for FHM, but whatever. Danica Patrick is hot and a hell of a race-car driver, and this is her day. Congrats, Danica.

Long live Lahbib!

The TV gods, they are smiling on me this weekend. First, season four of Battlestar Galactica begins on Friday. (Insert fangirl squeeee! here.) I just watched the season three finale the other day, and have pretty much been in constant OMG mode since. In a way, I'm thankful I just started watching the show a couple of months ago. If I'd had to wait a year to find out what the frak is going on, I don't think I could handle it.

The other exciting TV development this week is that BBC America will start airing season five of Wire in the Blood on Sunday. Oddly, they're starting with an episode titled "Prayer of the Bone," which actually aired in the UK after season five, as a precursor to season six. But since it's a one-off episode, I guess it's no big deal. Unfortunately, "Prayer of the Bone" is built solely around Robson Green (who plays Dr. Tony Hill, the brilliant but odd psychologist), so it is sadly devoid of Simone Lahbib, the show's co-star and this blog's patron saint. Lahbib plays Detective Inspector Alex Fielding, an intense, skeptical sort. She's kind of a Scottish Scully to Hill's occasional wackadoo Mulder-ness. The show is not an X-Files ripoff, but their dynamic is kind of similar. I don't know much about the structure of UK police departments, but it seems to me that Alex is the head of an SVU-type investigative unit. If you haven't seen the show, it can be quite good at times. There are only four or five episodes a season, but each one is about an hour and 20 minutes long, so you get pretty invested in the story. Lahbib's character is kind of frowny and stressed out, but you better believe she still looks good.



One more thing: Although there's no LaBabe in "Prayer of the Bone," and it's not a terribly great episode, it's still worth watching because it's set in Texas, and it's so cute to hear some of the "Texan" characters recite dialogue written by Brits.

Hoops heaven

Wasn't March a magnificent month? The long, mother-effin' winter is finally over, the daffodils are blooming, and the smell of postseason college basketball permeates the air. I have watched so much basketball the last two weeks, it's ridiculous. My favorite thing is the first weekend of the men's and women's tournaments, because for six straight days, Thursday through Tuesday, there is basketball happening at just about any given hour during the day.

And, OK, let's be honest — women's hoops is total lesbo eye candy. Young, fit, sweaty women running and pushing each other around? Good stuff. I'm not going to get specific and talk about individual players, because it was all well and good to have college hoops crushes when I was 25, but now it seems kind of gross. I mean, I'm not old, but I'm old enough that I shouldn't be crushing on 20-year-olds. Coaches, however, are fair game. This weekend was weird, because Gail Goestenkors' team was not in the Sweet 16. Goestenkors took Duke to the Sweet 16 the last 10 seasons. Now she's at Texas, where she has some rebuilding to do. They made the tournament, which looked iffy for quite some time, but got mauled by UConn in the second round. I don't have very many coach crushes (head coaches, anyway), but Coach G is always welcome on my TV. In the last couple of years she's been looking a bit, shall I say, pinched. But she's still a total cutie.

Anyway, the women's Final Four gets set tonight; LSU and Stanford are already in. Stanford's back in the Final Four for the first time since 1997, a year that lives in infamy for Stanford fans. The Cardinal lost a heartbreaker to Old Dominion in the semifinals, 83-82 in overtime. My first major hoops crush, Kate Starbird, had 21 points in the first half, then disappeared in the second half. I was a huge Stanford fan back then, and that game was one of the biggest sports letdowns of my life. I have it on tape, and I've never watched it. Kristin Folkl fouls out on a totally bogus call, Vanessa Nygaard misses a chippie that would have won it, Jamila Wideman (my second major basketball crush) misses a contested three at the buzzer ... It just suuuuuuucked. (Saddest post-game photo ever: Jamila and her mom. All these years later, I still want to give her a hug.) Of course, Old Dominion then laid an egg against Tennessee in the championship game. Not that I'm still bitter or anything. The last 10 years, I've been a fan, but each year it seems I've been less and less invested. Last year, when the Cardinal, as a No. 2 seed, got bounced out of the second round on their own home court, I decided I'd had enough. So when Monday night came around, I wasn't stressed out. If they lost, no big deal. Naturally, they pulled out a completely awesome win over Maryland. Just when I thought I was out ... they pull me back in! Damn. I'm actually going to the Final Four in Tampa, so it looks like I need to dig my Stanford gear out of the closet. Fair-weather fan? Guilty.

I'm voting for T&A

The funniest thing I've seen on the Internet today:


I'm not really a fan of T-shirt Hell, which is where I found this. Their stuff has a decidedly lowest-common-denominator bent to it. I'm all for laughing at ourselves, but a few of their shirts really cross the line, in my mind. But Tits and Ass '08? That is hilarious. Count me in as a proud lover of T&A.

Sweet, sweet Clementine

It's been a bit tough to find new TV girlfriends lately, with the writers strike creating a dearth of non-reality shows. I'm pretty choosy about my reality TV girlfriends. I'll develop a slight crush, then the woman will inevitably say or do something really annoying or mean, and poof! Crush gone. I think maybe I'm more forgiving with fictional characters. I'm more willing to hang around to see whether the character will be redeemed. (Or whether they'll be so evil that it;s fun, i.e., Wilhelmina Slater) Anyway, I've been out there looking, but not as many women on TV have been catching my eye lately. That is, until Clementine Ford, a.k.a. Cybill Shepherd's freaking daughter, showed up on The L Word. Ford is beautiful, and a total dead ringer for a young Cybill. I mean, check this out:

The screencap is a bit dark, but you get the point. A pair of knockouts, these two. You have to love a mother and daughter who, while playing mother-daughter characters, will do sex scenes on a lesbian TV show. Including one scene in which mom walks in on her little girl getting busy with another woman. I mean, God bless America. Ford plays a straight girl named Molly who is taken in by Shane's charm and goes "advanced placement gay" for her. Molly is smart, sarcastic and has that killer smirky smile thing going on, which is right in my wheelhouse. Shane appears to be simliarly smitten. She doesn't just want to sleep with Molly, she wants to be around her, talk to her, get to know her. I approve, Shane. You screwed up big-time by dumping Carmen (I will never get over it, ever, I swear). Don't let it happen again. I don't think I can handle losing another TV girlfriend because you have commitment issues.

Oscar makes my month

For the better part of February, I have had what can only be described as the winter blues. I am so sick of the cold and the sleet and the snow, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I wasn't even as fired up for the Oscars as I usually am. But bless Oscar's little heart, he picked up my mood considerably last night. When the best actress award went to Marion Cotillard, who was beyond amazing as Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose, my friend Heather and I yelled so loud, we scared the shit out of her roommate's poor little dog. (Sorry, Rigby.) I thought to myself, "The only thing that will make me even happier is if Once wins for best song." And then it did! I contained myself, so as not to give poor little Rigby a stroke. But oh my gosh, I was so happy. A day later, I'm still thrilled. Since last summer, I've been telling anyone who will listen that Once is a beautiful, beautiful little movie. It's pretty rare that a boy-meets-girl story touches my heart so deeply. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, neither of whom has done any acting before, were so real and wonderful in their roles. The scene in the movie where they first play music together is goosebump-inducing.

So you'll forgive me for getting goosebumps all over again when, after getting cut off prematurely, Marketa Irglova was brought back out to accept her award. Her speech, about art and hope and perseverance, was heartfelt and moving -- just like the film.

My nightmare is over!

That loud sucking sound coming from our televisions? It's going to stop soon. The Writers Guild of America voted tonight to end its three-month strike. I could go on and on about how the strike was necessary and important, but much better writers are doing that all over the Internet right now. So I'll stick to celebrating what it means to me — good TV is coming back, and bringing all my favorite hot chicks with it. It won't return overnight, but it's thrilling to know it's on the way.

As for the pin, our editor loved the slogan on it so much, he gave one to everyone in the newsroom a few years ago. I keep mine at my desk, where I can see it every day. I know it's only TV, but it's about more than that. Write hard, die free.

Speaking of Portia ...

Today is Super Tuesday, which means that for a newspaper editor such as myself, things are very, very busy. But I am never too busy to go trolling the web for exciting news of the non-political variety. Which is how I learned via Kristin on EOnline that the cast of Arrested Development has been approached about making a movie. Please allow me to clear my throat and proclaim, squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I love the Bluths so very much.

I love them when they're fighting.

I love them when they're drinking.

I love them when they're poorly impersonating chickens.

I love them, I love them, I love them. I wasn't ready when the show got canceled. Really, until 30 Rock came along, I wasn't sure I would ever fall head over heels for a TV comedy again like I did with Arrested. I realize this is in the embryonic stage of filmmaking, but I can't help getting wildly excited. Long live the Bluths!

Another Portia? I can only hope

Disclaimer: I am famous (in my own mind) for imagining lesbionic activity when there is none. All the same, I think that Yvonne Strahovski — aka Sarah on Chuck, aka one of my top TV girlfriends of the year — seems to get a little lesbo-coy about midway through this interview with Craig Ferguson. She's all zip-lipped, and will only say that her romantic taste is "unique"? I mean, seriously. How awesome would it be if there was another tall, hot, blonde, Australian lesbian in Hollywood? Move over, Portia. Or don't move over. In fact, why don't you two just stand there together? A little closer ... Excellent.



P.S. Am I a total loser for trolling YouTube at 2 a.m. just because I wanted to hear Strahovski's Australian accent? Yes? OK, just checking.

Shelby Lynne takes a dusty road

Talented, troubled chanteuse Shelby Lynne released a new record today, "Just a Little Bit of Lovin'." It's an album of Dusty Springfield cover tunes. I love it when lesbian worlds collide! (Springfield, of course, was a lesbian; Lynne has long played coy about her sexuality.) Whatever her deal is, she's an immensely gifted singer who also happens to be sexy as all get-out (as we Southerners say). There's just something about her that makes me want to take her home, listen to her bare her soul, then solve all her problems. And then make out with her. Ahem. Anyway, I've listened to a couple of the songs from "Lovin'," and I think it's going to be a lovely album, quiet and melancholic. I haven't loved all of her records, and I may not end up loving this one — who knows? — but I'm glad she's making the kind of music she wants to make.

Top 5 reasons the writers' strike needs to end

1. Tina Fey/30 Rock

"Four-thousand-dollar ham napkin." If you're a 30 Rock-aholic like me, you know what I'm talking about. Just one of the countless funny moments in your typical episode. I can't bear the thought of going months before seeing a new episode. Sigh.

2. Sarah Shahi

Thanks to Life, Sarah Shahi is cementing herself as my No. 2 all-time TV girlfriend (behind, of course, the patron saint of this blog -- Simone Lahbib). Life isn't TV cop show brilliance on the level of The Wire, but it's pretty damn good. It's captured my interest enough that I'd really like to see how this season plays out. Plus, Sarah Shahi is hotter than words. She's doing a nice job with her character. If Life doesn't last, I hope Shahi can parlay it into other interesting roles.

3. Yvonne Strahovski
OK, I am a Chuck fangirl. I love that goofy little show so much. It defies logic. Yvonne Strahovski is a total babe, her CIA cover is a crappy job at a place called Wienerlicious — what's not to love? Apparently there are several Chuck episodes still in the can, so I don't have to mourn its absence just yet. Yay!

4. Jenna Fischer

Ah, Pam. If Pam Beesly worked in my office, I'd be as love-struck as Jim. I love a funny girl. Pam is not nearly as bleak these days as she is in the above photo, since she and Jim finally got together. But that picture seemed appropriate, since the last time we saw a new episode of The Office was NOVEMBER 15TH. For heaven's sake, stop the madness. Pay the writers.

5. Sara Ramirez

I'm not all that into Grey's Anatomy this season (the writing has been seriously pissing me off), but Sara Ramirez is positively delicious. Thank goodness her character, Dr. Callie Torres, has become kick-ass again. For a while she was kind of a pathetic sad sack, which was no fun to watch at all. Although it's clear to me the show is not going to go this direction, in my mind, Dr. Torres and Dr. Hahn are having a secret, hot affair. What? Everyone else in that hospital sleeps together. Why not those two?

Dance Party Friday

Need I say more? Actually, I do need to say more: I want to marry this Cincinnati morning traffic reporter. I mean, how cute is she?

Friday Night Lights is making me heterosexual

OK, not really. Let me be clear here: I am what we lesbians call a gold star. But I swear to god, I have two man crushes on Friday Night Lights characters (I won't say actors, necessarily, because I do think the crush is tied up in the character to a great extent). Number one: Tim Riggins (actor Taylor Kitsch, at right). Put simply, Riggins rocks my world. He wanders around fictional Dillon, Texas, brooding and looking hot and being charming and generally awesome. No one can resist his half-smile and puppy-dog eyes. No one! Number two: Dillon Panthers Head Coach Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler, the dude from Early Edition -- remember?). He's a good man who does right by the people he loves. He's also adorable. Sometimes you get to see these little-boy glimpses in him, and it's so great. In last week's episode he and Riggins played ping-pong in their boxer shorts at 5 a.m. (that is not a euphimism, I swear), and it was ridiculous cute.

But just when I fear that these guys are rewiring my lesbo circuits, I remember that all the women on the show are even sexier. I've already gone on and on about Connie Britton, so suffice it to say my love for her has not waned. But I did not mention Adrianne Palicki, who plays the troubled Tyra Collette. I knew a few girls in my Texas high school like Tyra -- self-assured, too grown-up for their age, sharp mind, sharper tongue, questionable home life -- and while they scared the hell out of me, I secretly wished we were friends. Because that girl? She will have your back. But that girl also doesn't have a lot of female friends. Or if she does, she doesn't let them in. Tyra has a lot of walls up, and you can't really blame her. Her life is rough. No dad, depressed mom who goes through all kinds of wrong men, stripper sister, bad boyfriends, sexual assault ... it's not pretty. But it makes for great TV. (Well, mostly. One of her storylines this season was so over-the-top, I'm pretending it didn't happen.) Adrianne Palicki is really something in this role. And oh my god, is she a stone cold fox. See for yourself:

Wanted: Ingenue. Must not sleep with gross older dudes

It snowed here yesterday, so today I commenced my first driveway-shoveling of the season. That activity pretty much wiped me out (well, earlier I went to the gym and then went bowling, so that may have had an effect). At any rate, I'm all cozy on my couch, drinking some eggnog and ready to wax dorky on cute girls.


I'm pretty fired up to see Juno, starring Ellen Page, an attractive young actress who intrigues me greatly. Don't you just love her voice? I haven't seen her in very many movies, but she was so excellent in Hard Candy, you couldn't watch it without thinking the entire time, "Man, this kid is the real deal." I figure since she was in every scene of that film, that's plenty of evidence to prove she's got chops. And if she's as good in Juno as I'm hearing, then she just might step up and fill the My Favorite Young Actress void. I had to let Evan Rachel Wood go, so the position has been empty for a while. Wood was my favorite for quite some time, and I still think she's immensely talented and will have an incredible career. But dating Marilyn Manson? Seriously? No. Just ... no. I mean, I think he's basically harmless (and not nearly as interesting or subversive as he thinks he is), but he is way too old for her. And not attractive enough. That's right, I'm exactly that shallow. I am firm in my belief that a girl as lovely as Wood should not be sleeping with Marilyn Manson. Gross. I know it's absurd, but I suppose part of me will always see Evan Rachel Wood as Jessie Sammler, kissing Katie Singer in the attic (you know what I'm talking about, Once and Again fans). Thinking about her with a creepy older dude just sets my teeth on edge.

But I digress. Ahem. I have no such unreasonable iconic-teenage-lesbian hangups with Ellen Page. Only hope for a bright future. Oh, and a couple of other non-Page reasons to be excited about Juno -- it also stars Arrested Development alums Jason Bateman and Michael Cera (yay!), plus the one and only Allison Janney. We all know how I feel about that. Whee!

In closing, a moment from happier, more innocent times: