Boom! Hold that thought

So, Imagine Me & You was on Logo the other night, and even though I had a thousand other things to do and had already seen it a thousand times, I watched it anyway. Why? Because I am physically unable to resist this film. If I don't watch it at least once every six weeks or so, I start to feel weird and unsettled. Food doesn't taste as good; my fabric softener seems to lose its effectiveness, that sort of thing. Exaggerations aside, the movie just makes me smile. Yes, it is an utterly predictable bit of trifle with an ending so corny it tests one's gag reflexes to the limit. But darn it all, it's a cute, fun, funny and well-acted bit of trifle, and the romantic leads are gorgeous and have fabulous chemistry. Plus, there's something to be said for high production values (something sadly lacking in many lesbian films, due to their indie nature). So I make no apologies for loving this movie. None!

I'll spare you the rundown of the movie and get straight to the appreciation of Rachel (Piper Perabo) and Luce (Lena Headey). From the instant they meet, they can't seem to stop flirting with each other, and it is very cute. As I said before, their chemistry was really solid. Oh, and there is a decent amount of kissing, which is pretty awesome. I don't know how others felt about this, but the fact that there was no sex scene didn't bother me a bit. I thought it was quite nice that they fell for each other without that.

Anyway, despite the aforementioned cheesiness and predictability, I do give the movie credit for throwing a couple of nice curveballs. For one, in your heart you're rooting for the guy a little bit. Usually in these scenarios, the guy is a total boor and we can't understand at all why any woman would be with him, but in the case of Hector, you get it. He's kind and charming, and completely deserving of someone who loves him. The other nice departure is that Rachel never really fights her attraction to Luce; she fights her desire to act on it. We're spared any hand-wringing over (gasp!) being attracted to a woman. We also don't have to tread a similar tired path as Rachel worries about what everyone will think, how she'll tell her family, etc. She's not concerned about any of that; all she cares about it not hurting Hector. Also, no one goes insane. Which reminds me: By playing the lovely and not-crazy Rachel, Piper Perabo redeemed herself in my eyes for that crapfest Lost and Delirious. And she and Lena Headey both get extra points for playing gay more than once in their careers. Bravo!

Cure for blog doldrums: Hot chicks locking lips

Some friends and I were talking last night about the pros and cons of having so few moments of lesbo happiness on TV. I know what you're thinking – pros? There are pros? Well, sort of. If I could turn on the TV at any given time, any given day, and find two women making out ... OK, that would kick ass. For a little while, I would never leave the house. But at some point, it would become commonplace. We should be so lucky, I know. But that would mean that when Dr. Callie Torres kissed Dr. Erica Hahn last Thursday on Grey's Anatomy, I probably wouldn't have raised my arms and shouted, "Yes! Awesome!" at my TV. And then I wouldn't have immediately downloaded it, just so I could screencap it. Well, I might have anyway, because these two are burning up my screen.

I'm fired up because I called this one. Well, sort of. It seemed far too much to hope for, back when Dr. Mark Sloane was chasing after Hahn. She rebuffed him, but grudgingly, and the show was sort of sucking in general, so I let my lesbian storyline dreams die. I should have known better. Suddenly the writers' strike ended, and Hahn and Callie became BFFs who were into each other just enough to raise some eyebrows. At first, I figured the actors might just be having a bit of fun and adding something extra to the roles. Then glorious, glorious Addison Montgomery showed up and rocked Callie's world by assuming Callie and Erica were a couple. At that point, it became clear that the show was totally going to go there. Whee! I don't even mind the fact that it took a bunch of sex and dirty talk with man-whore Mark for Callie to figure it out. It doesn't seem like this character development is being played for exploitive, male titillation purposes. Even though I haven't personally experienced this, I do believe that for many people, sexuality is fluid. The way I look at it, I don't care what it took for Callie to figure out that she had real, honest-to-god romantic feelings for Erica. I'm just glad she figured it out. I can't wait to see what's in store for them next season. I don't expect them to ride off into the sunset – it seems impossible for anyone to have a healthy, stable relationship at Seattle Grace – I just hope that the storyline stays smart and interesting.

In other liplock news, I saw something a couple of weeks ago that may have even trumped Callie-Hahn in terms of sheer, breathtaking awesomeness. On Battlestar Galactica, the astoundingly beautiful Tricia Helfer kissed herself. Yep, you read that right. See, on Battlestar, some of the actors who play Cylons have to play multiple versions of the same Cylon model. The actor who has had to carry the toughest load, by far, is Helfer, who plays myriad roles as the Number Six model.
All of the Sixes she's played are different, but they share a few traits. They all want desperately to love and be loved in return; they want their lives to have meaning, purpose; they're a bit wacko religious (but in a "God is love" way); and to borrow a phrase from Willow, they're kinda gay. Some of the more significant Sixes: Caprica Six (seductress, had a polyamorous relationship with Dr. Gaius Baltar and the Number Three model D'Anna); imaginary Six (who exists in Baltar's head and may or may not be an angel); Gina (who was in love with Admiral Helena Cain, then was brutally abused after her Cylon identity was discovered); and Natalie (above), the newest Six to the party and the leader of a band of rebel Cylons. I don't want to get into too many details that led to the kiss, because it takes too much Battlestar geek-speak to explain, and I've done enough of that already. But suffice it to say, it was a gut-wrenching set of events that led Natalie to kiss another Six, tenderly, before shooting her in the head. And even in the heartbreaking moment, I will admit that I paused my DVR, because holy shit, Tricia Helfer just kissed herself. So if I ever wondered exactly how shallow I am, now I know.

Soon to be back on my screen, thank god

As much as The L Word frustrates me -- and it does, quite often -- it does at times give me moments of great happiness. To wit: Dana and the soup chef, pretty much everything Leisha Hailey says and does, a good Bette rant, the awesomeness of Joyce Wischnia, and of course, Sarah Shahi as gold star lesbian Carmen. Ah, Carmen. With her beautiful smile and oh-my-god body, she made lesbians' hearts sing for two glorious seasons. (OK, the seasons weren't actually that glorious, but Shahi was, so whatever.) After Shane dumped Carmen at the altar (stupid move), Shahi's arc on the show was over, and she moved on to free TV, starring in an NBC sitcom that only lasted a few episodes.

She'll soon be back in prime time in another NBC show, this time a drama. In Life, which is on the fall schedule, Shahi plays the partner of a cop who is returning to the force after being framed for murder. To be frank, even if the show is crap, I would probably still watch it to see Shahi looking nine kinds of hot. Detective-wear suits her. But it sounds as if the show has promise. The framed cop is played by Damian Lewis, who was excellent in one of my favorite TV miniseries ever, Band of Brothers. I have a little bit of a boy crush on Lewis, I can admit. (If you were wondering why I didn't crop the dude out of the photo, there you have it.) Anyway, Lewis has already shown that he's a great actor, and so has another of the show's stars, Robin Weigert, who was so good in Deadwood as Calamity Jane it was ridiculous. Seriously, do yourself a favor. The woman was a marvel. And Shahi showed a lot of chops in The L Word, so if the material is as good as the cast, this could be a solid show. I have high hopes.

Incidentally, much is made of the fact that Sarah Shahi was briefly a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, but although I am a huge Cowboys fan, I find it much more interesting that she is a direct descendant of the shah who ruled Iran in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. (That's right, Carmen de la Pica Morales is not Hispanic.) Obviously her present-day family can't be too conservative if they're cool with her posing for Maxim and having simulated sex with women on television, but you can't help but wonder what the old shah might think about his great-great-great-granddaughter.

The patron saint: Simone Lahbib

In life, sometimes a person will cross your path and everything changes. Or, in my case, that person will flicker across my TV screen. Hey, I never claimed I wasn't a loser. I think this blog pretty much takes care of that. Anyway, for me, the world has been spinning on a slightly different axis since I first laid eyes (and ears) on Simone Lahbib.

Lahbib was the star of the British show Bad Girls for its first three seasons. I was way late to the party on this show, which is stunning considering that it is set in a women's prison and featured a prominent lesbian storyline. Probably the most prominent, long-running lesbian storyline of any TV show outside of The L Word. Don't ask me how I missed out on all that -- I'm pleading clueless Yank -- but I'm on it now. Boy, am I on it.

Although I kicked off the blog with someone else, Lahbib was the true inspiration. The heart, soul, and sweaty palms of it. She is all a lesbo TV fan could ask for: drop-dead gorgeous (look at those lips!), a terrific actor, makes out with her hot female co-star very convincingly -- like, burning-up-the-screen convincingly. Then there's the Scottish brogue. Lord God almighty, the brogue. I could do an entire entry just on the brogue. I probably will at some point.

Which brings me around to why I'm making her the patron saint of this blog, for it desperately needs one. 1.) Simone Lahbib is hotter than hell. 2.) She was one half of my favorite TV lesbian pairing ever. 3.) Elevating her to sainthood means I can write about her repeatedly. Yay! 4.) Did I mention all the hot?