I'm voting for T&A

The funniest thing I've seen on the Internet today:


I'm not really a fan of T-shirt Hell, which is where I found this. Their stuff has a decidedly lowest-common-denominator bent to it. I'm all for laughing at ourselves, but a few of their shirts really cross the line, in my mind. But Tits and Ass '08? That is hilarious. Count me in as a proud lover of T&A.

Bye-bye, free time

When I was a kid, I was so into playing Atari that I used to regularly break joysticks in bouts of extreme frustration. (My parents really loved that.) Since then, though, I've never really been much of a gamer. I've had occasional flirtations with specific games -- my addiction to Tetris and Dr. Mario was a real problem, and I played a lot of Super Mario -- but that was years ago. Until I bought a PlayStation 2 in January, I hadn't owned a game system in about a decade. I bought the PlayStation specifically for Guitar Hero, which looked like a fun little lark, and probably a good party game. I had no idea that I would be spending much of 2007 hunched over a plastic guitar, fingers cramping like crazy.

But here I am. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock came out Sunday, and it is so cool. I haven't had a chance to really get into it, but the track listing is a dream for a gal of the '90s such as myself. My music of choice tends to be chicks with acoustic guitars, but I love a lot of '90s rock and '70s rock. Some of the tracks I'm super-excited about: Weezer, "My Name is Jonas"; Pearl Jam, "Evenflow"; Smashing Pumpkins, "Cherub Rock"; Beastie Boys, "Sabotage" (I know!!!!); Heart, "Barracuda"; Rage Against the Machine, "Bulls on Parade"; Rolling Stones, "Paint It, Black"; and so help me God, Metallica, "One."

Locomotives? What?

So I'm watching the CSI: Miami rerun that I recorded earlier (yes, because I totally have crush on Emily Procter; I'll get into that whole thing another day, I swear), and I just saw what must be the strangest, most ill-conceived commerical ever. It's blue-collar worker types singing "Take My Breath Away" while building or cleaning or doing something worker-like with giant locomotive engines built by GE. It's a commercial for TRAINS. Is A&E's demographic really people whose jobs involve buying goddamn locomotive engines? I don't understand why this commercial exists. I mean, what the fuck french, toast?

Which brings me to my favorite commercial in recent memory -- the Orbitz dirty mouth commercial. Everyone in it is funny. Doesn't "lint licker" sound wonderfully profane? Enjoy it with me, so I can forget the weird thing with the trains.

Dear cicadas

Dear cicadas:

Please calm down. I enjoy your buzzing in the summer; it makes me think of good times in my childhood -- going camping, staying at my grandparents' farm, and how my parents would always leave the house open at night even when it was really hot. But when you are so loud that I can hear you inside my house, windows shut, TV on, it really freaks me out. I know you're just trying to mate, and I respect that. If I could make that work just by being really loud, I would absolutely do it. Oh, and would you also stop flying into me and clinging onto my shirt? That really, really freaks me out.

Thanks, and good luck with the mating.

Sincerely yours,

wordnerd