Not cool, Grey's. Not cool.

So, since the outrage about Brooke Smith getting canned from Grey's Anatomy is all over the lesbo blogosphere, I'm not going to get into all that. OK, I will just a little bit. I call bullshit! If the rumors are true that she wasn't "pretty" enough for ABC, they can go fuck themselves. There is nothing wrong with Brooke Smith. Granted, I wasn't completely in love with the way this story was playing out -- we were reminded one too many times how much Callie looooves sex with dudes (which is fine, I think she's clearly at least bisexual, but give us a break, already). But I did love the layers it was adding to both of their characters. And now, poof! No more. But again, I don't want to break it down too much, because like I said, it's being done all over the place. I just wanted to mention this: Grey's has always used song titles for its episode titles. It's colossally FUCKED UP that they fired Brooke Smith and ended a lesbian relationship on an episode called "Rise Up," the title of an Indigo Girls song. Faux pas, dude.

A new season of hot

I have been kind of busy and distracted lately, but I could not let September pass me by without acknowledging that new TV is back! Meaning, my many girlfriends have returned. Hooray! Just a quick appreciation for my Monday night megababes: Yvonne Strahovski (from Chuck) and Sarah Shahi (from Life). I've blogged about them before, but whatever, I don't care, I'm doing it again. Because they are hot. At the end of the first season of Chuck, I was lamenting the demise of the Wienerlicious restaurant, where Strahovski's character worked (as part of her CIA cover, of course), because that meant no more hot Wienerlicious outfit. But I'm happy to say that in her new "job," as a frozen yogurt slinger, she wears a tank top. Oh, how I love television. If I can dig up a screen cap, I will post it. Until then, a lovely photo from the Chuck premiere party:

I am thrilled to say that I had much better luck on the tank top front with Shahi. The promo photos for season two of Life delivered the goods.

Cure for blog doldrums: Hot chicks locking lips

Some friends and I were talking last night about the pros and cons of having so few moments of lesbo happiness on TV. I know what you're thinking – pros? There are pros? Well, sort of. If I could turn on the TV at any given time, any given day, and find two women making out ... OK, that would kick ass. For a little while, I would never leave the house. But at some point, it would become commonplace. We should be so lucky, I know. But that would mean that when Dr. Callie Torres kissed Dr. Erica Hahn last Thursday on Grey's Anatomy, I probably wouldn't have raised my arms and shouted, "Yes! Awesome!" at my TV. And then I wouldn't have immediately downloaded it, just so I could screencap it. Well, I might have anyway, because these two are burning up my screen.

I'm fired up because I called this one. Well, sort of. It seemed far too much to hope for, back when Dr. Mark Sloane was chasing after Hahn. She rebuffed him, but grudgingly, and the show was sort of sucking in general, so I let my lesbian storyline dreams die. I should have known better. Suddenly the writers' strike ended, and Hahn and Callie became BFFs who were into each other just enough to raise some eyebrows. At first, I figured the actors might just be having a bit of fun and adding something extra to the roles. Then glorious, glorious Addison Montgomery showed up and rocked Callie's world by assuming Callie and Erica were a couple. At that point, it became clear that the show was totally going to go there. Whee! I don't even mind the fact that it took a bunch of sex and dirty talk with man-whore Mark for Callie to figure it out. It doesn't seem like this character development is being played for exploitive, male titillation purposes. Even though I haven't personally experienced this, I do believe that for many people, sexuality is fluid. The way I look at it, I don't care what it took for Callie to figure out that she had real, honest-to-god romantic feelings for Erica. I'm just glad she figured it out. I can't wait to see what's in store for them next season. I don't expect them to ride off into the sunset – it seems impossible for anyone to have a healthy, stable relationship at Seattle Grace – I just hope that the storyline stays smart and interesting.

In other liplock news, I saw something a couple of weeks ago that may have even trumped Callie-Hahn in terms of sheer, breathtaking awesomeness. On Battlestar Galactica, the astoundingly beautiful Tricia Helfer kissed herself. Yep, you read that right. See, on Battlestar, some of the actors who play Cylons have to play multiple versions of the same Cylon model. The actor who has had to carry the toughest load, by far, is Helfer, who plays myriad roles as the Number Six model.
All of the Sixes she's played are different, but they share a few traits. They all want desperately to love and be loved in return; they want their lives to have meaning, purpose; they're a bit wacko religious (but in a "God is love" way); and to borrow a phrase from Willow, they're kinda gay. Some of the more significant Sixes: Caprica Six (seductress, had a polyamorous relationship with Dr. Gaius Baltar and the Number Three model D'Anna); imaginary Six (who exists in Baltar's head and may or may not be an angel); Gina (who was in love with Admiral Helena Cain, then was brutally abused after her Cylon identity was discovered); and Natalie (above), the newest Six to the party and the leader of a band of rebel Cylons. I don't want to get into too many details that led to the kiss, because it takes too much Battlestar geek-speak to explain, and I've done enough of that already. But suffice it to say, it was a gut-wrenching set of events that led Natalie to kiss another Six, tenderly, before shooting her in the head. And even in the heartbreaking moment, I will admit that I paused my DVR, because holy shit, Tricia Helfer just kissed herself. So if I ever wondered exactly how shallow I am, now I know.

My nightmare is over!

That loud sucking sound coming from our televisions? It's going to stop soon. The Writers Guild of America voted tonight to end its three-month strike. I could go on and on about how the strike was necessary and important, but much better writers are doing that all over the Internet right now. So I'll stick to celebrating what it means to me — good TV is coming back, and bringing all my favorite hot chicks with it. It won't return overnight, but it's thrilling to know it's on the way.

As for the pin, our editor loved the slogan on it so much, he gave one to everyone in the newsroom a few years ago. I keep mine at my desk, where I can see it every day. I know it's only TV, but it's about more than that. Write hard, die free.

Speaking of Portia ...

Today is Super Tuesday, which means that for a newspaper editor such as myself, things are very, very busy. But I am never too busy to go trolling the web for exciting news of the non-political variety. Which is how I learned via Kristin on EOnline that the cast of Arrested Development has been approached about making a movie. Please allow me to clear my throat and proclaim, squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I love the Bluths so very much.

I love them when they're fighting.

I love them when they're drinking.

I love them when they're poorly impersonating chickens.

I love them, I love them, I love them. I wasn't ready when the show got canceled. Really, until 30 Rock came along, I wasn't sure I would ever fall head over heels for a TV comedy again like I did with Arrested. I realize this is in the embryonic stage of filmmaking, but I can't help getting wildly excited. Long live the Bluths!

Another Portia? I can only hope

Disclaimer: I am famous (in my own mind) for imagining lesbionic activity when there is none. All the same, I think that Yvonne Strahovski — aka Sarah on Chuck, aka one of my top TV girlfriends of the year — seems to get a little lesbo-coy about midway through this interview with Craig Ferguson. She's all zip-lipped, and will only say that her romantic taste is "unique"? I mean, seriously. How awesome would it be if there was another tall, hot, blonde, Australian lesbian in Hollywood? Move over, Portia. Or don't move over. In fact, why don't you two just stand there together? A little closer ... Excellent.



P.S. Am I a total loser for trolling YouTube at 2 a.m. just because I wanted to hear Strahovski's Australian accent? Yes? OK, just checking.

Top 5 reasons the writers' strike needs to end

1. Tina Fey/30 Rock

"Four-thousand-dollar ham napkin." If you're a 30 Rock-aholic like me, you know what I'm talking about. Just one of the countless funny moments in your typical episode. I can't bear the thought of going months before seeing a new episode. Sigh.

2. Sarah Shahi

Thanks to Life, Sarah Shahi is cementing herself as my No. 2 all-time TV girlfriend (behind, of course, the patron saint of this blog -- Simone Lahbib). Life isn't TV cop show brilliance on the level of The Wire, but it's pretty damn good. It's captured my interest enough that I'd really like to see how this season plays out. Plus, Sarah Shahi is hotter than words. She's doing a nice job with her character. If Life doesn't last, I hope Shahi can parlay it into other interesting roles.

3. Yvonne Strahovski
OK, I am a Chuck fangirl. I love that goofy little show so much. It defies logic. Yvonne Strahovski is a total babe, her CIA cover is a crappy job at a place called Wienerlicious — what's not to love? Apparently there are several Chuck episodes still in the can, so I don't have to mourn its absence just yet. Yay!

4. Jenna Fischer

Ah, Pam. If Pam Beesly worked in my office, I'd be as love-struck as Jim. I love a funny girl. Pam is not nearly as bleak these days as she is in the above photo, since she and Jim finally got together. But that picture seemed appropriate, since the last time we saw a new episode of The Office was NOVEMBER 15TH. For heaven's sake, stop the madness. Pay the writers.

5. Sara Ramirez

I'm not all that into Grey's Anatomy this season (the writing has been seriously pissing me off), but Sara Ramirez is positively delicious. Thank goodness her character, Dr. Callie Torres, has become kick-ass again. For a while she was kind of a pathetic sad sack, which was no fun to watch at all. Although it's clear to me the show is not going to go this direction, in my mind, Dr. Torres and Dr. Hahn are having a secret, hot affair. What? Everyone else in that hospital sleeps together. Why not those two?

Friday Night Lights is making me heterosexual

OK, not really. Let me be clear here: I am what we lesbians call a gold star. But I swear to god, I have two man crushes on Friday Night Lights characters (I won't say actors, necessarily, because I do think the crush is tied up in the character to a great extent). Number one: Tim Riggins (actor Taylor Kitsch, at right). Put simply, Riggins rocks my world. He wanders around fictional Dillon, Texas, brooding and looking hot and being charming and generally awesome. No one can resist his half-smile and puppy-dog eyes. No one! Number two: Dillon Panthers Head Coach Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler, the dude from Early Edition -- remember?). He's a good man who does right by the people he loves. He's also adorable. Sometimes you get to see these little-boy glimpses in him, and it's so great. In last week's episode he and Riggins played ping-pong in their boxer shorts at 5 a.m. (that is not a euphimism, I swear), and it was ridiculous cute.

But just when I fear that these guys are rewiring my lesbo circuits, I remember that all the women on the show are even sexier. I've already gone on and on about Connie Britton, so suffice it to say my love for her has not waned. But I did not mention Adrianne Palicki, who plays the troubled Tyra Collette. I knew a few girls in my Texas high school like Tyra -- self-assured, too grown-up for their age, sharp mind, sharper tongue, questionable home life -- and while they scared the hell out of me, I secretly wished we were friends. Because that girl? She will have your back. But that girl also doesn't have a lot of female friends. Or if she does, she doesn't let them in. Tyra has a lot of walls up, and you can't really blame her. Her life is rough. No dad, depressed mom who goes through all kinds of wrong men, stripper sister, bad boyfriends, sexual assault ... it's not pretty. But it makes for great TV. (Well, mostly. One of her storylines this season was so over-the-top, I'm pretending it didn't happen.) Adrianne Palicki is really something in this role. And oh my god, is she a stone cold fox. See for yourself:

Another girl's self-esteem in the toilet thanks to Tyra Banks

America's Next Top Model is my secret TV shame. I started watching it because I got hooked on the show recaps written by Potes of Television Without Pity (who I have a total word crush on, because she is hilarious beyond belief). The recaps by themselves are a panic, but I decided that they would probably be even funnier if I actually saw the show, and I was right. So now I come home from work on Wednesday nights, twitching in anticipation of the latest bouts of bitchery from the model wannabes. They rarely disappoint.

I hadn't picked a favorite yet this season, but I was sort of pulling for Sarah, who is witty and pretty, and also the token "plus-size" girl of the group. But Sarah got the boot tonight, going the way of every other plus-size girl in the history of the show. Just about every season, they make it seem like this is finally the time the plus-size girl will give those skinny skanks a run for their money. These poor, unsuspecting girls start the show brimming with confidence, ready to be an example for non-stick-figured women everywhere. But after weeks of struggling as a size-8 float in a the size-0 parade, their self-image erodes, and inevitably they break down. This week, Sarah broke. Her biggest issue: She was losing weight, and thus Tyra and her merry band of judges were climbing all over her case for being too skinny to be a plus-size model, and too hefty to be a regular model. In other words, she'd probably dropped to a size 6, a size that I and most of my friends would seriously consider lopping off a limb to be again.

I want to make it clear that I'm not exactly outraged over this outcome, because for one thing, I think the show is bullshit and I don't like to get too worked up about it. I also concede that Sarah was taking only so-so photos, and her heart probably wasn't in the whole thing anyway. But I just had to remark upon the absurdity of Tyra harshing on someone for being too fat and too skinny, then criticizing her for having some visible issues with that. Tyra, who fancies herself as some sort of champion for women's self-esteem issues. (Potes calls her Typrah Winbanks, which is so right on.) But Sarah seems to have her head screwed on straight, so I'm confident she can overcome the Top Model mindfuck that has taken down many an aspiring Cover Girl shill. Good luck, Sarah. I still think you're purty.

Helloooo, Doctor

Since about midway through last season, I've been on the verge of breaking up with Grey's Anatomy. I guess it was around the time I found out they were spinning off Kate Walsh's character. I mean, it's great for her that she has her own show, but Private Practice just hasn't captured my fancy. And Grey's without Dr. Addison Montgomery is a much less interesting Grey's. Then, George and Izzie supposedly fell in love (oh please), and they turned smart, capabale and hotter-than-blazes Callie Torres (O'Malley) into someone powerless and pitiful. Unacceptable. But the show has redeemed itself with the full-time addition of Brooke Smith as Dr. Hahn, replacing that douchebag Isaiah Washington. Thank Jeebus. When she showed up last week and immediately started kicking ass, I actually clapped my hands in sheer glee. I had the same reaction a few weeks ago when she turned up on Weeds as Original Mrs. Scottson, the object of the bizarre and hilarious platonic affections of Nancy (Mrs. Scottson 2.0). She is just fantastic -- her awesome voice and facial expressions are perfectly suited to the sharp-tongued characters she's playing on both shows. She's also got a nice lesbian-ish vibe going with the Dr. Hahn character.

The moral of the story: the more Brooke Smith on my TV, the better. Most people probably recognize her as Catherine, Buffalo Bill's captive in Silence of the Lambs. (You know: "Preeeeecious .... Preeeeeecious ... c'mere, ya little shit.") She was awesome then, and she's every bit as aweseome now. Welcome to Seattle Grace, Dr. Hahn.

Pound for pound, the best around

When Veronica Mars was canceled last year, I was pretty upset. Not so much because it was an great show -- which it was, although it had slipped from its first-season excellence -- but because it meant Kristen Bell wouldn't be on my TV anymore. In falling head over heels for the show, I also fell for Bell's acting. She packs a shitload of talent into her tiny, tiny frame. (Seriously, even for Hollywood, she is so wee.) Bell was asked to do a lot with the Veronica character, and she never failed to hit a home run -- even when Veronica was someone you didn't particularly like at the moment. Veronica had a lot of sadness and anger in her, and thus was too quick to think the worst of people, even those who loved her. She could also be arrogant and dismissive. But Bell was always able to pull off the high-wire act of letting the viewer see all of Veronica's flaws and baggage and anger without tipping too far one way and making her a character you didn't like or couldn't relate to, or tipping the other way and getting all Lifetime movie "mommy left me and I have trust issues" with it. Of course, strong writing helped a lot. But make no mistake: Kristen Bell absolutely has the goods. So I was quite thrilled to learn she has joined the cast of Heroes, a show my little geek heart just loves to pieces. (Actually, nerdy though I am, I've never been a comic book fan at all, and was a little surprised that I liked Heroes so much, given its premise. But I digress.)

I haven't watched Monday's episode yet, so I don't know what her special Hero purpose is. I kind of hope she's evil, because she played evil so well in a short arc on Deadwood, as the world's tiniest homicidal maniac/lesbian temptress/whore. (No, I am not making that up.) Whatever her super ability is, I have no doubt she's going to be kick-ass awesome. The photos from Dorothy Snarker's blog are highly, highly tantalizing, from a potential-lesbian-goodness standpoint. Which, let's face it, is why I get up in the morning: potential lesbian goodness, real or imagined.

This is my favorite Veronica, circa the first season. The Veronica that was on the fringe of high school society, fell asleep in class and took shit from no one.

UPDATE: I finally got around to watching it, and Bell was just as kickass as I had hoped. It appears that she's probably evil (yes!), and she can totally shoot electricity out of her fingers. I love TV.

Becki Newton is bringing the funny

She's fabulous, she's hilarious, she's bitchy, and when under duress, she has a weakness for candy and carbs. She's Ugly Betty's Amanda Tanen, played brilliantly by the beautiful and talented Becki Newton. On a lesser show, Amanda would be all mean girl and no heart. But on Ugly Betty, she's ... well, mostly mean girl. But we also get to see a lot of the vulnerable Amanda, and Newton is just as good at that stuff as she is at the comedy. Her facial expressions slay me every week. Favorite quotes: "Have you been smoking one of your ponchos?" and (when Betty's dad offers Amanda a delicious flan) "Ohhh, BRING IT!" Favorite moment: I just can't pick one. But I do love this clip I found on YouTube, because when this episode originally aired, I was at least halfway into it before I figured out that Becki Newton was playing the nerdy Bizarro Amanda (aka Ruthie). So funny.

Friday night's all right

The long wait is over. The series I'm absolutely not at all ashamed to say I'm madly in love with -- Friday Night Lights -- returns tonight, and I could not be happier. Go Panthers! State champs, wooo! Ahem. When I first heard about this show, I assumed it wouldn't be very good, if the natural order of things held true. That is to say, when you take a wonderful book (by Buzz Bissinger) and turn it into a movie, the movie is often a letdown. Which it was. And when you then take that blah movie and turn it into a TV show, well ... you get what I'm saying. But while the Friday Night Lights movie was nothing to write home about, the show is incredible. It can break your heart at one turn and make you feel full of youth and hope at the next. The characters and relationships are so damn real. These are people who are trying to figure out how to love each other, how to find happiness and meaning in their small, football-psycho town. Really, it's a joy to watch. I know I watch a lot of TV shows, and I can freely admit that some of them are not so great. But trust me when I say that this is one of the the best shows that's been beamed into our homes in the last several years, and it kills me that no one's watching. I'm so paranoid that it's going to get canceled.

And that would be a crying shame, because then the world would be denied the glory of Connie Britton, who is acting her white-hot ass off in FNL. If you can watch even one episode and not fall in love with her character (and with her), then you are made of stone. Every time I watch the show, I can't decide whether I wish she were my wife, my mother, my sister, or my friend. (Usually wife wins out, like that's a surprise.) You can catch up with last season's episodes for free at NBC.com. What are you waiting for?