Yay!

I learned yesterday that my imaginary girlfriend of the summer, Top Chef's Lia Bardeen, is bisexual. I don't need to tell you that this revelation fills me with great joy. The news comes via a kind anonymous poster at Dorothy Surrenders, and our dear Dorothy has posted the video in which it came to light. Really, I have nothing to add to what's already on Dorothy's blog, but I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of Lia's cute "Yay!" face after she won an elimination challenge.

Boooooo

The U.S. women played terribly and lost 4-0 to Brazil. In my mind, Abby Wambach and Hope Solo spent many hours comforting each other. Yes, I am a perv. I know.

I'm upset about it in the sense that the U.S. team was poorly coached and did not play up to its potential in the entire tournament, and today's game was the nadir. On the other hand, I'm all for the women's game growing globally. Particularly in Brazil, where the national squad gets no support despite the fact that it is one of the top teams in the world. Here in the U.S., soccer is still a neglected stepchild, certainly. But coverage of today's game was all over ESPN (even the talking-head shows) and will be in every major newspaper tomorrow. Our national team gets paid to train year-round. Brazil's national team was basically disbanded in 2004 and only started playing together a few weeks before the World Cup. So, yeah, even though I've spent most of the day in a low-boil rage over the way today's match went down, I can't get too uptight about this loss. I hope the Samba Queens win it all.

A Wonderful World

If you haven't been watching the Women's World Cup for the past several weeks, you have missed out on a boatload of women playing some excellent soccer and looking hot doing it. It was my original hope to pick a Soccer Girlfriend of the Day for every day games were played, but it was too difficult to choose. My affinity for sporty blondes knows no bounds, thus the fact that there were three Nordic teams in the competition early on (Norway, Sweden, Denmark) left me in complete sensory overload. Now that we're down to the semifinals, I am doing much better.

The first semifinal on Wednesday is Norway-Germany, which should be a humdinger. Germany's defense has been insane and Birgit Prinz is a goal-scoring machine, so the Norwegians have their work cut out for them. On paper, Germany should win. But I'm picking Norway in an upset because I can't bet against those cute Scandinavians, like Marie Knutsen. (Germany is not lacking in the cuteness department, though -- I think this photo of Renate Lingor is adorable.)

As for the U.S. women, they will have their hands full with the creative and fast Brazilian team, starring the astonishingly talented Marta. But I'm cautiously optimistic for the U.S. As Julie Foudy has pointed out, when Brazil is backed into a corner, it often loses composure. So if the U.S. scores early, I like its chances. Back in the day, I had a lot of crushes on U.S. soccer players -- Shannon MacMillan, Mia Hamm, Foudy, Brandi Chastain, you name it. These days, I will admit to being a bit out of touch with the team. But Abby Wambach (the top photo, in case you don't know) is infinitely crush-worthy because, in addition to being attractive, she is so very badass. In keeping with my love of the blonde pixies, I am also fond of Lindsay Tarpley, who hasn't gotten much playing time in the World Cup (booo). Heather O'Reilly is cute too. Ultimately, as committed as I am to praising the hotness of women worldwide, how they look really doesn't matter. It's all about how you play the game.

Credit for the top photo goes to Eugene Hoshiko of The Associated Press

She's cute even when she shills

Stuck at home with a serious case of hay fever this week, I've been watching a lot of tennis. A lot. And I was getting really tired of the John McEnroe American Express commercial ("Klaus Umlaut? '85 US Open?") But yesterday, a new commercial joined the rotation -- Tina Fey plugging American Express. Like Tina herself, the ad is funny, cute and smart. As soon as I can find a video (update: here), I'll link to it, but the gist is that Tina has to do everything herself and is constantly solving problems ("I will suck the venom out, but this is the last time!"). Except when she has a credit card issue -- why, American Express will take care of that for you, goshdarn it!

I have had a crush on Tina Fey for a long time. I used to think I was alone in that, but in recent years I've discovered that she seems to be universally loved by the lesbians. It's not just because she's sexy and witty and liberal and wears those awesome glasses; I think it's also because we look at her and think, "Ah, that one shoulda been a lesbian." But she's not, and we're OK with that. And she seems to be OK with being the object of our affections. In one of the funniest 30 Rock episodes of the first season, she gets set up on a date with a woman because her boss (Alec Baldwin) assumed she was a lesbian (based on her choice of footwear). Anyway, everyone should watch 30 Rock, because it's hilarious. It has filled the void left in my life after Arrested Development went off the air. The season two premiere is Oct. 4. So far away! In the meantime, here is a funny clip from the show.